Lack of Men In Today’s World

In today’s society and communities there is a brokenness. I believe one of the main drivers for this brokenness is the lack of men taking responsibility for their God given and God ordained roles in life. Men failing to fulfill the role they have been assigned is like a broken compass sitting in a drawer. Without purpose. We draw our direction from positive male leadership. In the beginning it was not the responsibility of the female to lead. It was the man’s duty.

I’m not quite sure when the breakdown began over the ages. In times of war, when the men would march off to battle, the women had to pick up the pitchfork at home and perform the duties of the mother and the father. Women are gifted in that way. Maybe that’s why my wife is so great at multitasking! Somewhere along the line, after the men returned, the roles and workload was never leveled back out. Here we are, today, when women are leading the home and men are wearing the proverbial apron. How can we expect to raise strong men in our world with examples like that? A man’s role is many and a man has different qualities he must possess.

Guide and protector
Builder of society
Masculinity
Character
Confidence
Health

“Makes women and children feel secure. Arouses admiration of all. Makes women feel womanly.”[1]

In many homes these are not taught due to there being no man to teach these qualities or there is a man but that man’s father never taught him; which led the father of a son living the more female role. How can a person teach something they’ve never been taught? That is why God created the power couple of male and female. So that they both can contribute to the raising of males and females and, living by example, teaching them qualities pursuant to a congruent life. On the flip side of the qualities listed above, man must also possess qualities that seem to counter but actually give balance. Those qualities are listed below.

Understands women
Gentleness
Attentiveness
Youthfulness
Humility
Refinement

“Promotes good human relations among all people. Awakens love in women and children”.[2]

You can see how the second set of qualities tends to balance out the first set. God created man, Adam, as the head of the family. Look around at today’s society and see all the young men who have been incarcerated. Most people immediately look for the father of the convict and then conclude that the reason he ended up like that is because of the absence of the father-head in the family. The same can go for females who end up in the prison system. People tend to say, “Daddy issues”. Our jobs as men and fathers are to teach our children in the way they should go. That involves discipline (which means discipling or teaching), loving, understanding, etc. Our children will see our example and, more than likely, follow suit. A man who chooses to step back and let the mother take the lead in a family will do it because that’s how he was taught or he has a wife who grew up in a house with the absence of a strong father was present. Thus, she stepping up, like her mother, and taking charge. That’s not to say that her beliefs can be reversed. A strong woman who tends to take the role in a home can be shown what a real man’s example should be. As in the case of Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare. A male with the qualities of a man can win a strong woman to be his bride. Once married, that new wife is going to need strong leadership to be led. It can happen through the man having a balance of Steel and Velvet. Jesus was a great example of a man with that perfect balance. He was confident and wasn’t afraid to condemn the high court in the land in a public setting. He was not afraid to do what was right even though the community was afraid to speak it. Women and children flocked to Him the same as men because of His kindness, leadership and other qualities stated above. There are many other men in history who lived lives like Him. That’s why we are commanded in the bible to strive to live an honorable life like Him.

I’ll close with this. We should not condemn men who feel or display they lack in being a balanced man. We should bond together and lift each other up. It is our duty to sustain and encourage growth in one another.

” …So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (MSG)

Speaking what I have written in public will invite naysayers and negative remarks in today’s age. It’s because people who feel in opposition of this are either sad or scared. The good news is that it’s okay to feel that way. It is up to the men in today’s world to be a comfort in our communities by being leaders and balanced men. It is our role to teach our children and through our actions show our wives the steadfastness and kindness we possess. If you are not sure what that looks like due to not having grown up in a home that displayed it, I recommend finding a mentor who can guide and teach it. Many men will cast blame on the struggle they have with this instead of taking responsibility. We possess the power to make the change for our own legacy. Seek out the education to learn how to be a man of balance for your family and learn to be that example your family and community needs. If you’re a combat veteran who struggles with the softer side of yourself, great!!! It can all be learn and practiced. Your family will thank you. I speak from personal experience. Love to all and all the best. God bless!!

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[1] Man of Steel and Velvet, Aubrey Andelin, pg. 23, 1972, Pacific Press Santa Barbara

[2] Man of Steel and Velvet, Aubrey Andelin, pg. 23, 1972, Pacific Press Santa Barbara