People respond best when they receive positive talk. A person feels shame, guilt, regret, sadness, fear, loneliness and physically weak when people who they love and admire most, who’ve they’ve made themselves vulnerable to, speak negative to them. It’s the ultimate way to crush someone’s spirit. On the contrary, speaking positive words to someone charges them and has the opposite effect of the aforementioned.
When I get attacked verbally, I am reminded of times in my past when I was told I was unreliable, lazy, selfish, weak, etc. Those words pierce my inner fire. It throws a bucket of water on my inner fire. Every morning I strive to speak words of light and affirmation to myself and my son. It reminds us of the goodness inside us. It feeds the “Good Wolf” inside who battles the “Bad Wolf” daily. It’s important for us to remember, no matter who we talk to and no matter what is going on inside of us and how we feel, to speak positive words. If you have a negative thought, keep it inside and don’t speak it. Never hesitate to speak positive words. This takes daily practice to become an unconscious thought that turns into action. The other side of this is Grace and Humility. Malcom X has a quote that is one of my favorite quotes.
“Don’t be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today”.
Even as an adult I make plenty of mistakes, daily. When I do, it’s easy for me to start self-defeating talk. When I feel that coming on, I am reminded not to speak it verbally, instead, speak words of affirmation verbally. In the forefront of my mind, I keep this rule in the event a stranger, a friend, my wife or one of my kids does something I don’t agree with or says something I don’t agree with. Do I fail at times? Yes, I do. Most often, however, I choose to feed the Good Wolf because I know how it feels when someone does that to me. It hurts. That’s the importance of taking a moment to think about and wonder why they did what they did. Instead of assume and attack; or react. It’s best to take a step back and perhaps ask a question to better your own understanding before responding. Maybe look at it from another angle.
Take this to heart. I encourage you to research the power of negative talk vs positive talk. It’s affect, physically, on the body can be catastrophic or empowering. Like the old saying goes, “Think before you speak”. Another good one to remember is to “Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don’t say it mean”.